Over

For now.

Maybe in a few months the rebound will be over for him, all will be healed and he'll be thinking clearly.

As it stands now, I am filling gaps, I think. Maybe i'm not, but its how I feel.

And I aint here to fill gaps.

It hurts like hell and I may be 'cutting my nose off to spite my face' so to speak.....and maybe life is too short to refuse when the thing that currently fills your every waking minute is there on a plate.

Maybe.

But life is also too short to put myself through witnessing the dark shadows that haunt his eyes at every repition of her fuckin' name.

..and so we danced...though it was only a slow dance...

What a wonderful Valentines day I had. I recieved a gift from a person I desparately wanted to get a gift one from - and a fleeting, whispered declaration of love to go with it. Knocked my socks off quite frankly.

I make promises to myself about being just good friends, taking it slowly and how i'm not ready for romance ...but when i'm with him, its not the same situation. Suddenly I dont remember the rules anymore.

And yes, the words I write are kinda adapted from Billy Joels 'This Night'. Gotta love this song. One of the best he ever wrote (alongside 'Just the way you are') - and my God how fitting for me right now.

Ignore the cheesy vid. The song is the reason its in this post. Enjoy.

"You think i'm going to hurt you, don't you?"

What am I supposed to say to that?

Well I know I should have said

"Oh no dont' worry about that. I'm not going there getting emotionally involved anyway. Bite me"

- but really I felt like saying

"Well actually, yes. I mean I know we have only been seeing each other for the tinyest amount of time - but yes. You do indeed already hold the power to rip out and destroy my stupid, juvenile, fickle heart with a mere movement of your eyes"

In fact I simply said

"Well...er....no. I dont think that"

Fucks sake

*sigh*